Once Is Enough



For many years, off-and-on over the last quarter century, I've owned motorbikes.

But now I'm done with 'em. I won't be riding motorcycles any more.

                   


...yep, that's me, in the John C Lincoln Memorial emergency room, after they scraped me off of the asphalt, after they cut off my shirt and vest with their scissors (and turned my jeans into something that they'd probably wear in Thunder Down Under) and poked a needle in my forearm and strapped me to a backboard.

Last Tuesday, on the way home from a noon meeting, riding along New River Road on a gorgeous afternoon, I waved at some bikers heading in the opposite direction, and they waved back. I looked forward again, and saw that the car in front of me had stopped.

I applied the brakes, and the bike started to swerve - that's the last visual memory that I have. I do remember sliding along the asphalt on my right side, hearing the pavement grate on my helmet and thinking, while I was sliding and bouncing, "...if I live through this, then I'm selling the motorcycle.".

It's just that simple. Years of riding bikes, many miles on highways singing "Twamps Wike Us, Baby We Were Bowen to Wun...", changing the oil, washing the motorcycles, wearing my leathers and paying insurance - all gone bye-bye because One Wreck On A Motorcycle Is Enough.

I don't have to do that again. And I do not have the self-confidence to believe that I would be able to maintain a state of alertness such that it wouldn't ever happen again. I suspect that at some point I'd revert to type, and then my attention would wander just long enough for me to wind up grinding up my clothes on the asphalt again.

I only had to marry my first wife once. I only had to go to New Jersey once. And I only have to get hurt on a motorcycle once. And note - there is nothing wrong with motorcycles, just like there's nothing wrong with my first wife. There are folks who can marry my first wife and it works out great, and there are folks who can ride motorcycles for the rest of their lives and never get hurt.

(The astute observer will note that I gave no disclaimers about New Jersey).

Funny - a few months ago, I had a convertible, a motorcycle, and a sailboat. Now I'm down to the convertible (and I can't even drive that right now, since I'm under the influence of pain meds).

I've also been through some other changes from this wreck, from a personal finance perspective. See, I have had a lot of sick time saved up, and my employer pays me for anything over 2 years accrued time (it's an attendance bonus, really). So I had this plan, see - I was going to stay healthy this year, and then, at the end of the year, the amount of sick time that I would have over that 2 year accrual would be enough to pay for this skydiving class that I want to take - Accelerated Free Fall.

...but then I got into this motorcycle accident, and missed quite a few days of work. So then I realized that - darnit! - I wouldn't get as big a payout at year's end because I had used some sick time. So then it seemed like wrecking my motorcycle was going to keep me from jumping out of an airplane - sorta adding insult to injury, so to speak.

....but then it turned out that the lady whose truck was hit by my motorcycle (N.B. - I don't think that I hit her truck - I think that my motorcycle went under her truck after I came off of the bike, but don't quote me here, as I'm not sure of anything) has filed a claim against me, which means that I have to file this claim with my insurance company (I was going to just forget the whole thing and drop the bike off at the dump). So that means that I am filing against my insurance, which means that I'll be getting paid out for the replacement cost of the bike, which means that I'll be getting a check from AllState - which means that having a wreck on my motorcycle would actually finance my being able to jump out of a plane earlier : )

.....but then it turned out that Ethel says, no, that she has 120K miles on her Hyundai Santa Fe, so the check for my bike is going into her I'm-Gonna-Need-A-Landrover-Eventually account (she's so mean and selfish)  which means that I won't get to jump out of a plane at all : (

 

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  • 4/7/2010 4:58 PM Gary wrote:
    So, just checking your train of thought here, you want to use the money from your motorcycle accident to jump out of a plane... not sure I follow your logic 100% there, Jim, but I'm glad you're gonna be OK. Physically, anyway :-)
    Reply to this
  • 4/7/2010 5:12 PM Dave C wrote:
    Sorry to hear (and then read) about your accident. Hope you heal quickly.

    You do realize that you brought this on yourself by ignoring two of the runners' commandments (and have plans to ignore a third), viz.:

    Though shalt not ride motorcycles.

    Though shalt not ski.

    Though shalt not jump, dive or fall out of airplanes.

    Being a stick-in-the-mud, I've never been tempted to ignore these, especially the first.
    Reply to this
    1. 4/7/2010 6:01 PM Fat Charlie the Archangel wrote:
      Gee, and here I never knew about any such commandments.

      I don't doubt that I brought it on myself - I've done that with pretty much everything in my life, except for my birth.

      I have never forgiven my parents for giving birth to me - and not only that, but having delivered me into this world with such a useless body and brain. However, my parents only did this to me once - I did it to my children three times, so I deserve any punishment that may come along.


      Reply to this
  • 4/8/2010 6:03 AM Chris wrote:
    I'm glad you are feeling better.

    I only once had an experience with the mystery of the motorcycle. I had a problem with the front brakes on an older motorcycle. I left the pavement to pull over. When I got to gravel the front wheel locked up (less traction on gravel, the brakes were locking up) and I went down *splat*. I was barely moving forward, so no torn clothing but I had a periodic pain in my side for about three months, probably a cracked rib.

    The mystery of the motorcycle is how effortless it seems to stay up, but then how fast it will go down.
    Reply to this
    1. 4/8/2010 6:08 AM Chris Again wrote:
      Also... I see the spot on your arm from the skiing accident.

      You've been kind of accident prone recently.
      Reply to this
      1. 4/8/2010 6:30 PM chris yet again wrote:
        i only say that because... maybe you need to get your glasses checked or something...
        Reply to this
  • 4/8/2010 6:19 AM Alan B. wrote:
    As you will probably recall, I had a couple of bikes during my teen years, and occasionally I do get the though that it sure would be fun to be out there on one again. But given that during the last few years, my brother and two of my best friends have now suffered fairly serious motorcycle accidents, I'm probably just going to to stick to bicycling. :-) Glad to see you are making steady improvement.

    Alan
    Reply to this
  • 4/8/2010 12:49 PM Rocco oops I mean George Smith wrote:
    Jim,

    OMG....GET WELL SOON....You know I not a fan of Motorcycles...especially for someone your age....lol...jk....
    I am very happy that as bad as it was....it wasn't worse...like you being hit while down....
    Regarding the crack 'bout NJ....Being an NJ native (though I would never live there again)....I've seen people that looked like this and worse...and it had nothing to do with a motorcycle accident...GET WELL SOON
    Your Friend,

    Rocco (Formerly of NJ...now in the witness protection program in AZ)
    Reply to this
  • 4/8/2010 2:00 PM Bev Sabatino wrote:
    Jim,

    Sorry to hear about your accident....Get well soon!!!
    BTW given your last few mishaps....perhaps you should change the name of your website to: CRASH TEST DUMMY

    Take care,

    Bev Sabatino
    Reply to this
  • 4/8/2010 2:01 PM Bev Sabatino wrote:
    hi again sub'ng to your blog with my new email...Bev Sabatino
    Reply to this
  • 4/10/2010 9:39 PM Jenny wrote:
    Wow. While I am grateful that you are still alive and doing relatively okay, I wouldn't mind giving you a few more bruises for even considering sky diving. Brian's cousin went sky diving on her 30th birthday and died. DIED. Then again, Richard Herrin went sky diving on his 40th birthday and had the best time of his life. So I guess if you're willing to die to have the best time of your life, then go for it. I know you're 51 and gonna die soon anyway, but I'd prefer to have you around a little longer if you can help it.

    Take care. Hugs,
    Jenny
    Reply to this
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