I was hoping, today, to show you pictures of my new grandson Jax, wearing his gbeautiful Bama go-home-from-the-hospital outfit.

But, unfortunately, I'm afraid that I've been derailed from that pleasant diversion by a sudden reminder of - and a social obligation to spread the message about - a disease that still persists in the Heart of Dixie.

Here, for your observation, is my great-niece Sophia, wearing her Alabama outfit:

                     

As you can tell, Sophia is very unhappy.

No, she doesn't need to be changed, and no, she's not hungry.

Sophia....is being indoctrinated.

Even though Sophia is a native of the great state of Alabama, and even though she comes from a fine family of good character and standing, it turns out that Sophie is being raised by a couple of Auburn fans; custody was awarded to the couple on the rather shaky theory that they should have her, just because they are her parents.

Well, I hope that the DCSIFF (Department of Child Services and Infant Football Fandom) sees this picture - actual photographic evidence of the most blatant and horrifying sort of child abuse.

Obviously, Sophia's parents have dressed her up in Alabama gear - and the wearing of the Crimson and White can only make a child feel warm and happy - but then proceeded to pinch, bite and swat the child until she cried. This happens over and over - showing the baby her reflection in a mirror, and then bringing about intense discomfort until the child cries in pain and despair.

They do this in order to force the child away from her natural, wholesome inclination to feel fulfilled and happy whenever she sees the big Script A, and - instead - through the misuse of Pavlovian techniques, condition the child to associate Alabama's colors with pain, abuse and suffering.

It's a terrible thing to see. But Sophia's parents aren't to blame. They, like many others before them, have had their natural desire for their Bama Birthright to be somehow twisted and torn, like toilet paper on Toomer's Corner three days after a win. The insane idea takes up residence in their minds, and forces itself to crowd out all reason and accountability. They don't know any way of life that doesn't include perpetrating the Auburn Illusion.

Sometimes it goes from parent to child; other times, it strikes from without, due to geography or being misguided by a high school counselor to take the low road to a higher education.

Like alcoholism, drug addiction, or a preoccupation with NASCAR, Auburn fandom is a sad perversion of a child's normal instincts and enthusiasms. In this case, an Alabama baby - brought into the world to love, live for, and watch Alabama football - is left with the desire to see football, but has all of the normal attributes stripped away by a process of indoctrination and mind-control techniques, to the point where a perception of Red is yellowed into an unhealthy Orange, and the White of purity is displaced by the Blue of depression.

This is much like the process by which Winston Smith, in Orwell's "1984", was forced to look at three fingers and see four, or two - or however many fingers he was told to see. These children are told over and over again that "Bear was a bad man" and "Bama fans are all ignorant and toothless trailer trash" and "Beating Alabama once is a bigger deal than having a bunch of national championships or SEC rings" - with food and affection withheld until they parrot back the phrases that have held so many Aubies in thrall to their delusions for so very, very long.

It's shameful, and it gets repeated, generation after generation. And it brings a sense of futility and despair to any concerned, caring adult.

But there is something you can do.

Stop The Insanity! Contact Alabama's Department of Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention today to speak your mind about creating yet another generation of Auburn fans - before it's too late for all of those other children.

Because it might already be too late for Sophia.