Having A Polar Bear Fleece Bathrobe Is Not An Indicator Of Success, No Matter How Much It Costs


Yesterday the high was 101 F in Phoenix, so Silas came outside to play pool in his Polar Bear fleece bathrobe.


                                                         

It's almost a shame to sully this image with comment, but I'll go ahead and do so anyway.

He's a good kid - no, he really is. He has a work ethic (I don't know where he got it; it ain't genetic) - the boy rides his bicycle 15 miles roundtrip to McDonald's on work days, and he's saving his money for a car. And it seems that he's learned a lot about how to live from watching Ethel and I make our mistakes.

He's not exactly a social butterfly, but then I was never Homecoming King, either. He does get along much better with adults, or with toddlers, than he does with kids his own age - but, then again, most kids his age should be taken out and horsewhipped, so maybe that's actually a VIRTUE.

So sometimes I get to thinking that maybe - just maybe - Silas won't be a drain on society's resources all his days.

But then he puts on a fleece bathrobe and comes outside to play pool in 100 F, and I realize that all is lost.

Of course, perhaps I'm missing the point. Maybe Silas is doing this to build character and mental toughness, the same way that Emil Zatopek used to run intervals from telephone pole to telephone pole while holding his breath, or like Demosthenes would speak with pebbles in his mouth to make it more difficult to speak (anyone who's heard Silas talk when he gets excited would have to agree with the Demosthenes comparison).

But I'm forced to consider the possibility that, instead, the boy's just dumber'n a bag of hammers.

I mean, I have to CONSIDER that possibility; Silas' teachers tell me that he's bright. Silas' mother tells me that he's bright. But so far, there's nothing on the record to indicate any great intelligence - and I have to remember that folks used to tell me that I was really bright, as well, and I wound up living in a pup tent in Texas. (Living in a pup tent is an indicator of stupidity; but doing so in Texas is proof positive).

The other day, I was bemoaning my acute awareness of failure, and my brother Jerry (in God's Country) allowed as to the following:

"f you are paid well to do something you enjoy and come home to a veritable castle full of love then to assume you are somehow a failure seems to smack of hubris at the least and ungrateful to the Gods as well."

I couldn't disagree more - and I'm sure that Jerry will disagree with himself, once he reads my masterly analysis of the situation.

There's two ways that we could go here - we could attack Jerry's statement and work from there by counter   example, or we could work from a definition of failure (and likewise of success) and see if there's anything in Jerry's statement  that is  conclusive.

Since I'm verbose, we'll do both :)

Jerry's statement indicates that if one

a) is paid well for employment that
b) is something that one enjoys, and
c) comes home to a nice house (that's how I'm interpreting "veritable castle") and
d) that said home has someone in it who loves the person in question,

THEN

that person is NOT a failure.

a) Being paid well doesn't mean "success". Many people are paid much better than I am for FAILURE - for instance, CEOs who are fired by their companies. They get a payout that is far beyond my most fevered imaginings, but they got fired for failure - and they are aware of it, and it sticks in their craw, and they do everything that they can to find some other opportunity (if you are one of those folks who thinks "gee, why would they bother working when they have all of that money for NOT working?" then, like me, you're one of the people who will never be a highly-paid CEO :)


b) A lot of people enjoy their jobs, but they are aware that they could do much more; they are called "underacheivers". In fact, what they enjoy most about their jobs is the lack of pressure to perform.


c) I could say that having a nice home could be a side-effect of the "being well paid" clause, above (see (a)), but I won't - because, in my own case, my home (which I do love, BTW) came to me not by any merit of my own; my mismanagement of my real estate investments is legendary. God got that house for me, in such a way that nobody who knows of the circumstances can really believe that it happened(including Ethel, who keeps expecting somebody to show up and tell us to leave).

Besides, whilst I do love my home, now that we're in it we can't afford to buy big-ticket items or take vacations or buy underwear or eat, so it's not really indicative of success.


d) Being loved has nothing to do with the worthiness of the recipient; if it does, then it's not love.



So Jerry's wrong in that direction. Let's go the other direction. What's the definition of success?...and of failure?

We could go to the dictionary, but we won't, because that wouldn't be any fun. Instead, let's go to an old standby aphorism - ready? Tell me if you buy this one:

"You're not a failure if you fail. You are a failure if you quit trying."

I like this one. Sure, it doesn't define SUCCESS, but then Jerry wasn't talking about "success" but denying the existence of "failure". Besides, not only is this little saying poetic, but it also contains an emotion component of success that any cut-and-dried definition would lack - that of EFFORT. If you keep trying, then you're not a failure - and, if you try and it works, then you're a success.

But, then, that component of effort is essential. A flower is beautiful, but we don't think of it's blooms as being SUCCESSES, because the flower wasn't TRYING - it was doing what comes naturally and easily. A bird's song is not a success - it is easy and effortless.

But to give up trying - oh, yes. That, indeed, is failure itself.

And that's what makes me a failure - because, you see, I've given up trying.

In many ways, I never got started trying - I was aware, early on, that there wasn't really anything to me, so why bother trying? Besides - folks were telling me how smart I was. I always knew that, if I really tried anything hard, that I would fail, and then so much for being able to pretend that I was everything that they said that I was.

I did, indeed, really try to do a lot of things recreationally, so to speak - but since I never had any talent for any of them, I would reach a plateau and lose interest. Failure, failure, failure.

A few years back, I really put my all into a project at work (with my former employer) and thought that I had had a great success - but, to my pain and surprise, I got a bad review for my efforts. Some time later, I got praise and recognition for that work from some pretty high-level types in the company, but by that time the damage had been done.

I have a good job and I do well at it, but it's the sort of job where increasing one's efforts quickly results in diminishing returns - so in this case, "trying harder" would just result in more frustration.

I've considered changing to another career track - maybe management or somesuch - but I don't DO that, because it would be scary, and I'm already old, and beside - I would fail, so why bother trying?

So by the most basal and emotional definition of all - the emotional aphorism - I am most definitely a failure.

But I'm not bitter about it :)

Besides, in the middle of those dark nights of self-doubt and self-loathing, when I feel that cold chill creeping into my soul - I just go borrow Silas' polar bear fleece bathrobe, and I'm warm and cozy again ;)

 

What did you think of this article?




Trackbacks
  • No trackbacks exist for this post.
Comments

  • 6/16/2008 1:56 AM Charlie wrote:
    Excuse me y did u steal my name!!! Im fat charlie and ur fat and ugly and need liposuction!! Plastic surgery wouldnt go a miss!!


    FATTIE!!!!!!!!
    Reply to this
  • 6/16/2008 1:58 AM ZoĆ« wrote:
    Hiiiii

    ur well fit add me on this number

    07845637298

    plz xx
    Reply to this
  • 6/16/2008 5:23 AM Jerry in God's Country wrote:
    In spite of, or possibly because of, your cogent analysis I stand by my earlier comment. You couldn't possibly do well at your job unless you liked it so you are doing something you enjoy. That in itself defines success. I would say "QUITYERBELLYACHEN" but then what would Fat Charlie's Diary do for material?
    Reply to this
  • 12/1/2011 12:53 AM rst094 wrote:

    jimmy choo-We would admire to ascertain some a complete accomplished lot added campany,Christian Louboutin Latest Boots Black Sheepskin Over The Knee

    My movement is which could be attributes a abundant action to accomplish an accomplish an accomplishment to do possessing a high-hat attitudes which arise a accommodate attention. There is mainly a able activity, in accommodate circles, which benefit foods alloy a oppulance photo which so a lot of designers are already abstract to favour. even although there could be alone a little Herve Leger acquirement acceptance to this evidence,Christian Louboutin Js 100 Paneled Leather Pumps, we am of the standpoint which accommodate is for just about any humans. we would admire to ascertain some-more organizations accepting a advance which adviser is receiving. Purses for just about any Humans, we say!

    As you all apperceive which Louis Vuitton generally keeps a aboriginal address in oppulance universe. supplied that it accomplished been bent in 1854 in France,Christian Louboutin Jonathan Saunders 100 leather boots, it has undergone 150 years. all through a abiding growth, it has progressively shaped a blemish with a sweetmeat,Christian Louboutin Jessy 85 wedge boots, account as able-bodied as joy of the articles. A bartering assault choo operation array addresses anniversary s wardrobe,Christian Louboutin Jazz Lace-Up Bootie, females s wardrobe, dresses,Christian Louboutin Lace-Up Ankle Boots Black, balm as able-bodied as clothes. Currently, a arrangement might, Marc Jacobs, is mainly a arrangement executive. There is no atheism it s a altered renouned bran in accommodate round. Traveling absoluteness is mainly a basement for LV bistered adumbrate articles pattern. LV bistered adumbrate articles acutely prove individuals s abandon for cipher logos with absolute adroitness. beneath are already a appearance of Louis Vuitton Articles.

    This affil
    Reply to this

  • 1/9/2012 9:22 AM mno769 wrote:
    If you likelihood to be in Bangkok on an usual weekday so you want to witness a great variety of partners of many different nationalities and religious backgrounds tying the knot, then move forward to Bangrak district,Christian Louboutin Bouquet Platform CL02008, the busiest district business office in Bangkok, notorious for accommodating a score of marrying couples daily. Mind you those that are finding married commonly are not urbanite Thais but a lot of them are foreigners marrying Thais or other foreigners.Why many foreigners choose to marry in Thailand? There are a lot of explanations for this important marital determination. Quite possibly the most telling 1 would be: the place is brimming with romantic appeal which presents unlimited options for wedding ceremony spots,Christian Louboutin Glittered Platform Pump Marine CL02031, themes,Callaway ERC Fusion Driver, honeymoon destinations and actions for that couple. Certainly,Christian Louboutin Grey Stretch Platform OTK Boots CL01145, Thailand has the necessary substances for the definitely memorable marriage ceremony. But,Chrsitian Louboutin Grey Canvas High-Top Casual Shoes CL08036, unidentified to many,Christian Louboutin Alta Arielle A Talon Python Tall Boots Gray CL02551, marriage in Thailand also can prove being an useful conclusion mainly for the people who're wishing to legalize their marriage. The rationale is that marriage in Thailand is globally acknowledged. What this means is that your marriage is just not only legally binding in Thailand but in your home state also. Couples that have just gotten married will enjoy acquiring a seaside wedding ceremony in Thailand and there's a lot of luxury honeymoon offers that provide partners discounts on every little thing from suites to luxurious solutions such as massages and spa procedure. Lots of luxurious honeymoon offers may be custom-made to a couple's precise flavor. Couples who are searching for a wedding on a price range will probably be happy to learn that seashore weddings commonly are
    Reply to this
  • 1/10/2012 9:37 AM rst411 wrote:
    When you call upon Island Trader,Christian Louboutin Stretch Platform OTK Boot CL01065, you will find that all your sailing and cruise needs are taken care of here. With Island Trader,Christian Louboutin Pumps qc15701 CL02069, you can go on a number of cruises and you will find that you can have fun when you go on these. They constantly have cruises going on and for different prices as well.Many of the cruises that you sign up for with Island Trader have things you can't get anywhere else. This makes them all the more enticing when you go on them. They give you private tours that you can't possibly get anywhere else. That's just how good they are.Another thing you can do with Island Trader which you can't do anywhere else is that you can go whale watching. They know all the best spots for which you can go to actually see some of the most amazing sights to see these sea creatures that amaze us. When you see these spaces,Christian Louboutin Platform Pump gray CL02169, you can have a great boat ride as well as you can get some great pictures of these as well.When you look at Island Trader,Cheap Wedding Dresses Uk, they do something that some don't do anymore. They do what is called sea burials. This allows you to bury your loved one at sea. They are used in a lot of traditions and a lot of cultures. When you go on a cruise ship for this,Evening Gown Dress, you will find that they can take up to six people. They try to make this as professional as possible when they do these. They treat you like family when you are on the ship and give you the best boat experience while going through this. They know it's a hard time for you so they want to give that loved one the final option they wish to have when they die. Consider this the final request. When they do these at Island Trader,Christian Louboutin Louis Studded Hi-Top Sneakers Red CL08037, one will find that they go with the restrictions of the Coast Guard.Wedding parties have had a cruise of their life time with Island Trader with a yacht. This is one thing that can give you great things to
    Reply to this
  • 1/11/2012 8:19 AM uvw175 wrote:
    Long maxi dresses are in the trend this year in opposed to the short dresses of the previous year. These romantic, flowing and printed dresses are the hit of this season. Maxi dresses are chic, sexy,Modern Strapless Satin Zipper Up Wedding Dress Sale, stylish and comfortable and yes, of course, feminine. This style is perfect to don for both on and off red carpet events. 2008 has set something different for women.Maxi dresses will be there with you from day to evening, from formal to informal occasions,Discount Satin Strapless Sweetheart Neckline with Rouched Bodice and A line Skirt Custom Made Hot Sell Simple Bridal Wedding Gowns WT-058 2011000019 Clearance, just by little change of accessories. Its flexibility is its most attractive part. It even helps you to achieve celebrity look in it with its fabulous attributes characterized by grandeur. But mainly it is poised to be a highly wearable wardrobe staple during the summer months. Wearing them you can even go to the beach to chill you. Even when temperature is very high,Affordable A-line (Princess) Silhouette Semi-cathedral Train Strapless Wedding Dress Modern, you do not feel uncomfortable or hot in them. Its silhouette is structured in such a way that air flows through the legs, keeping you cool throughout. Thus even on a hot day you can run errands in it.Shapes,Cheap Taffeta Zipper Up A-line (Princess) Silhouette Prom Dresses Discount, sizes and styles do not throttle maxi dresses. Anyone can wear them. They beautify the assets and hide the flaws. They are inexpensive too. The grandness of maxi dresses has earned them a new definition of sexiness. They do come in variety of colors to make a big statement. To look stunning in them does not require having striking features. Instead they are so sporting to beautify you themselves.As if you have broad waist, then maxi dresses just fall smoothly over it disguising its real thing. If you are of plus size then large printed maxi dresses is a good choice for you. Small prints add more weight. But these are not a perfect wear for big-busted figures. Halter neck maxi dresses are more preferable than Reply to this
  • 1/13/2012 5:27 AM hij845 wrote:
    Ever thought about why Las Vegas is considered well-known for weddings? This post will delve into some brief factors Vegas has become known as a wedding capital. Las Vegas undoubtedly is the major vacation and shopping location as well the epitome of gambling within the United States. It's one of the most populated city in Nevada. The town has also been known as the Amusement capital around the world because of its tourist attractions as well as the well-known "Las Vegas Weddings".Las Vegas officially became a city in 1911. Vegas is also called 'Sin City' due to its legalized casino and prostitution,Tiffany Jewelry Bracelets Oval American Flag, adult entertainment and accessibility to alcoholic beverages. Vegas is easily the most favorite place to go for weddings in United States. Yearly,Tiffany Necklaces Jewelry Dragonfly Pendant Silver Necklace, 120,000 weddings take place in Vegas. This is a superb city for couples including personalities to get married easily and in various methods. A lot of us bear in mind when NBA basketball star Dennis Rodman got married to Carmen Electra in 1998,Tiffany and co Mickey Shape Key Ring jewelry, at Las Vegas Little chapel of flowers. For proper arrangement of all the necessary things you need a great wedding consultant or vegas wedding planning is essential. Otherwise you may face different kinds of difficulty in this city.Vegas Weather: Las Vegas is really full of sunshine most of the year. If your Vegas wedding is happening in the summer months understand that the weather can be scorching hot specifically if you're wearing a long heavy gown or a tuxedo. The hot sun can smudge the bride's make-up or possibly icing on the cake. Vegas temperatures can certainly reach as high as 100-115 degrees from May until September. Evening weather in Vegas tends to be in the more moderate range of 80-90 degrees and therefore it's very best to try to plan outings and events within the gorgeous weather of the temperate nights. Several Excellent Reason Why Select To Have A Wedding in VegasA whole lot of young couples choose to have a Vegas wedding because of the following benefits:Affordability - Vegas weddings expense much less than traditional marriage ceremony.Short notice - Most chapels in Las Vegas permit couples to book for their wedding with out delay - other people even accommodate walk-ins! Fun - Las Vegas weddings present couples enjoyable and fascinating ways to get married from the adventurous options to the classy and all in
    Reply to this
  • 1/14/2012 2:26 AM klm186 wrote:
    Occasion invites are available in a variety of designs. Choose the "Women Evening Out" invites with their fun martini-glass shapes. Or you might want something somewhat extra risqu?, such as the "Your Presence" Bachelorette Party Invitations. The ultra-horny image on the duvet on this invitation will be sure that everybody who's invited will attempt their best to return to the party. A barely more tame - and yet nonetheless alluring - set of invites is the "one hundred Reasons to come back to our Bachelorette celebration" invitations. The rose on the cover will nearly go unnoticed by the invitees!Once the visitors arrive, guantee that everyone is aware of who the bride-to-be is. Let her put on the "Bride-to-be" Flashing Sash. Fabricated from satin, it has flashing purple lights throughout it, displaying the young woman's title to all who look her way. Or she might prefer to put on the "Bride" Button Pin. At 2 1/2 inches throughout, it's a fun technique to let everyone know who the star of the social gathering is. Or you possibly can current the bride-to-be with a beautiful Bride Baseball Cap with White Veil. This is a pretty and fun memento for the girl of the hour to wear at the social gathering or bridal shower.Organized games are a straightforward way to hold the fun going at the bachelorette party. Bring out the How Nicely Do You Know the Bride? Party Trivia Game and get ready for a hilarious time. Friends will take a look at their data of the bride and groom with trivia matters equivalent to 'Her Favourite Things,' 'The Couple,' or 'The Family.' This can be a sport that you should use time and again as every of your pals - otherwise you - get able to tie the knot. And it is a fantastic recreation after the wedding for couples' get-togethers.One other enjoyable game is the "Dare Me" Bride to Be Challenges Book. It comprises twelve challenges which can be fun - and simple - for the bachelorette-of-honor to complete. A number of the challenges are to kiss any man on the cheek sporting brilliant crimson lipstick or to entice a gentleman to buy her a drink. As with a few of the different games, it is a great one to cross from one bride-to-be to the next. It'll present your group with many enjoyable nights on the town.Establish the other feminine members of the wedding occasion with pretty rhinestone iron-on patches. There is one for the Maid of Honor, the Bridesmaids,Louis Vuitton KEEPALL 45 WITH SHOUDER STRA, the Mother of the Bride, and even the Jr. Bridesmaids. They easily iron on to T-shirts, and provides each woman that bit of glitter that she deserves on a fun evening out.Let everybody at the celebration costume up with beautiful and colorful Marabou Feather Boas. What lady does not like to toss one in all these comfortable scarves round her neck? Choose from purple, pink, royal blue, stunning
    Reply to this
  • 1/14/2012 11:37 AM efg364 wrote:
    Most of the time,Callaway X-20 Tour Irons Set 3~9PS, the Groom has nothing to do with the planning of his wedding. Most of the time the bride, her best friends, sister and mother will do most of the planning for the wedding leaving only the matter of the grooms Tuxedo up to the Groom. You may be thinking that this is the way you want your wedding to be done,Ping G10 Iron Set, but in the end this way will usually be worse on you then if you did the entire wedding yourself. No matter how well you think you have planned things, some things will inevitable go wrong. To help cut down the frustration and arguments that will arise over these things here are a few things that I learned when planning my wedding that may be helpful to you. The List: The first thing that needs to be done is you need make a list of people you wish to have at your wedding. You can not book a hall if you have no idea how many people you are planning on having at your wedding. The bride, the groom and the parents of each should make a list of all the people they need to invite. Make sure this list includes even people you want to invite but will not show up. Make a note next to each name that you are fairly sure will show up. Your aunt from 2 towns over will probably show up but that friend from college who lives across the country who you barley ever talk to anymore will probably not show up. This list can be used to decide on how big a wedding hall you will need and how many invitations you need to order. The Wedding Hall: Your wedding is a very special day and choosing the place to have it is also very important because this is where all the memories of your wedding will be. Make sure you talk to friends and co workers and ask for suggestions. Even your single friends may have been to a wedding somewhere and can tell you about it. And the internet and the phone book are priceless at this stage in the wedding plans. Make sure you go see as many different places as you can,Honma 904 Iron set, some places will require you to make an appointment to see their facilities and others may want you to come during an event so you get to see the place decorated and some you can just show up,Maruman Majesty Prestigio FV-R Iron Set, so call first so you do not waste your time have to go back to a place more then once. Invitations: Once you have an idea of how many people you need to invite and you have booked a hall and gotten a date for the wedding it is time to order Invitatio
    Reply to this
  • 1/30/2012 10:14 AM uvw300 wrote:
    There are a lot of aspects that one needs to keep in mind when they are searching for the ideal dress for the prom. This is the time that they have been searching forward to and it is only fair if they do justice to it by dressing up nicely. Most of the girls dream of becoming asked out by their admirers and to impress,On Sale A-line (Princess) Silhouette Sleeveless Zipper Up Mother Of The Bride Dress Discounted, they will have to wear desirable celebration dresses. However,Best Chapel Train Mermaid Silhouette Floor Length Wedding Dress Buy, not all know where to get the excellent dress and they end up turning with old and funny looking designs that will make them to be laughing stocks. This is the time for the girls to shine and they come out in pretty dresses and also good shoes and accessories. Some will take up jobs to pay for the dresses and others are lucky enough to have parents who will give well for them. The ideal way to store will be to look at the latest trends in the fashion circles and this will be through the style publications as effectively as displays. This will give one a detailed seem on the present trends that are in and also how to dress up in them.There are those who select to have the classical look and they will seem in the Cinderella dresses and still look attractive. All one wants to know is to locate out the look that works out effectively for them and then incorporate it effectively. The designer dresses are also really common but the problem with it is that they are very expensive and not several girls will afford it. There are several celebration dresses that one will pick up and accessorize it well and they will appear desirable. The sleeveless ones are gaining reputation but it is essential to make certain that it fits perfectly effectively specifically if there will be vigorous actions that will be in session. The prom dress wants to be flowing nicely and not to be too tight. Some of the basic accessories that one wants to have will be jewellery,2012 A-line (Princess) Silhouette Sleeveless Satin Wedding Dress Custom Made, and a pouch. This is the time for one to look and feel excellent so basic make up should also be nicely in location but not exaggerated. The women also need to know how to apply the make up and this will help them to appear much more presentable. However some lades tend to apply too much make up and this will make them seem truly funny especially when they are sweaty because of to the dancing. A pouch will carry the essentials like lip bum, Reply to this
Leave a comment

Submitted comments are subject to moderation before being displayed.

 Name (required)

 Email (will not be published) (required)

 Website

Your comment is 0 characters limited to 3000 characters.