I'm Getting The Wrong Message
Last night, we watched "The Family Man" with Nick Cage:
This poster sort of illustrates a property of the movie of which we were unaware - it's a Christmas movie! More than that, it's another retelling of the Scrooge story, although not very blatantly so.
Good stuff, at any rate.
I feel free to mention the basic storyline without a spoiler warning, since if you've seen so much as the trailer, you know it already; Jack (Nick) is a hugely successful guy in high finance; he left his girlfriend behind in the late 80s to take a finance internship in London, and never went back to her. He is given a "glimpse" of what his life would have been like had he not taken that internship - had he stayed behind and married Kate.
If you've ever seen a movie, then you know that (of course) he has trouble adjusting to such a notion, and then (of course) decides that he would be far better off had he been the Family Man, instead of the Finance Man. (The way that the movie eventually resolves is interesting; I'll not address that here).
What bothers me is that I think I really got the wrong message.
I wound up comparing myself with the "Family Man" Jack, and thinking that - gee, I really have been an exceptionally underachieving sort of fellow. I sat there watching the movie, thinking that I should really be working instead - thinking that I don't spend nearly enough time and effort on my career.
I've always been a dilettante (as longtime readers of this page will know, I've never yet found my talent, the "thing that I'm good at". They say that "everybody has a talent" but the only talent that I've been able to find so far is a ridiculous persistence in trying to find a talent that doesn't seem to exist) and never really found any area in which I could excel; having said that, it seems to me that a lot of folks are doing really well financially in areas that they aren't excelling in : )
I got restless, irritable and discontent; by the time the movie was over, I had subconscious rumblings about attempting to break into management, or maybe doing like my friend Viki and going back to law school (I suspect that I might be a pretty good lawyer; I certainly was a good barracks lawyer while in the service :) - in other words, I am suddenly compelled to do something to make myself more like the Finance Man and less like the Family Man.
Of course, this isn't driven by any externals; I just adore whatsername, and the big galumph who hangs around my house and eats all of our food is lovable and funny. No, I suspect that I'm aware that I am just as much a failure as a father/husband as I have been as a career professional, so I'd rather avoid looking at the one and try the other for a while.
Man. I need to get a brainectomy : )
At the risk of saying something nice about ya, old buddy, I will point out the obvious: you certainly have a talent for staying sober, and that ability is denied to most of us. You're alive. You're a success. Ugly, true, but a success.
As for family, think of me. You have a rather nice extended family. Wife, two legged moose, four dogs (including the wonderful, lovable, incredibly smart Lucy), sons and grandkids and Bama. I've got none. Period. No wife, no kids, no family. I hated the damn movie: I'm not even rich as compensation. On the other hand, I don't have to buy Xmas presents. There are some benefits.
I'm escaping endless winter here in the Northwest for five or six days over in Sun Valley. Currently waiting for the snow to melt. That fell last night. On a three thousand foot pass. I almost envy a hundred or so degrees in God's Convection Oven, otherwise known as Puckettville.
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I couldn't help but notice that the previous post's list of "Things That Needed Doing" didn't include anything from your lucrative employment situation. Does that indicate a lack of interest?
If you are paid well to do something you enjoy and come home to a veritable castle full of love then to assume you are somehow a failure seems to smack of hubris at the least and ungrateful to the Gods as well. Thats my two cents worth and you may feel that I am owed some change.
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You are correct - the list of projects didn't involve anything from my job description.
Perhaps I need to work on my communications skills - I THOUGHT that I was saying "We've moved the boat from the house, but we are still operating under the assumption that we will take the time to tow the boat back out to the lake and go boating this summer - THEREFORE - Let's take a look at the list of projects that we have to do this summer DURING OUR LEISURE TIME and see if such a list suggests the probability that we'll be towing the boat out to the lake for a weekend anytime soon".
I'll go back and review the post and, if it DOESN'T say that, then I'll amend it - or maybe I'll find out something that's hidden in my psyche.
I'll address the issue of "what is a failure" in another post. Your accusation means that you and I don't share definitions.
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Jim, you should try publishing what you write. I think you would be more successful than you give yourself credit for. Although then it would become more of a job and you probably wouldn't enjoy it anymore. Such a quandary.
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Greetings from Grangeville, ID. Caught a country meeting last night, felt right at home in my Carharrt denim shirt. They did it the old fashioned way. Bowls of candy on the table, the way it used to be. I referred to your description of me as a left coast commie tree hugging drum beating wussie drunk.
Sitting here waiting for the rain to stop. You remember, cold rain? Forty five degrees?
The thought occurs to me that your friends think a lot more of you than you do. This seems to happen despite the fact that we have to look at you, and you have the option of avoiding mirrors at all cost.
Given that your perception of reality has been proven to be seriously skewed, given your disdain for Lucy the Wonderdog, I wonder if our opinion of your functionality in the universe might be more accurate than yours? Sorta like our opinion of your singing is far more based in reality?
Thanks for having the public session of insecurity, though. I just got a year older and I'm wrestling with the eternal question of what I've done with my life.
So much is mere survival. Except survival, in my case, is not mere: it is a miracle.
Off to an Idaho country breakfast...
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This is the first time in the history of the world that I've agreed with Scott the Sasquatch Abraham. (my himp says that means I'm really REALLY sick) No doubt this agreement will cause a rift in the space time continuem and the total anihilation of life as we know it on this planet. Love ya anyway 2budda. You're the only one around that truely appreciates Lucy as I do. :-)
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From now on Scott's nom de Net is "Ricky Ricardo" - because it's just he an Ethel starring in "We Love Lucy"
Dah-dah-dah-dada-DAH-DAH-dah...
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Ethel, about time you found enlightenment. Proof that if you stay sober long enough, the Promises come true.
I think I figured out why Jim does not love Lucy as we do. She has more hair, she is cuter, and you give her love and snuggles anytime she wants them. If only Jim could learn how to be cute, wag his tail, and beg. Or grow such a luxurious, soft fur on his head. Or any fur on his head.
Love from Sun Valley. I hit town just in time for the men's meeting, will do three meetings tomorrow. I fully expect the space time continuum to at least cause an eclipse.
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Mental note: if given the chance to marry Tea Leoni DO IT.
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